remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
