he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
