The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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