Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
