And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
