Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
