Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize