I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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