is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
