You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
