dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
a search helicopter?!
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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