Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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