well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
