im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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