So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
