This girl is more easily done than said...
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
