i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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