This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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