ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
