it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
