Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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