Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
