and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
