What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize
