Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
