The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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