we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I know her cup size but not her name....
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