If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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