Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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