will power is for people who don't want to get laid
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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