some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
