If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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