I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
