That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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