My pussy is not your playground.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
