God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
