You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
