How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
