I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
