i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You are a genius and a whore.
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