I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
send nudes
from the living room?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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