ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
