I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
