me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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