That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
