This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
