508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
