hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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