Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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