Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
