Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
She needs sedatives and a leash
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize