one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
she peed on how many people?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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