Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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