my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize