Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
