is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Randomize
