Sry I called you an 8
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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