You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
