i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
