You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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