she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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