haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize
