ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
