Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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