Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
