Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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